Most Disastrous Birthday

I just had the most disastrous 22nd birthday on the 12th of May. It was seriously the most screwed up birthday I ever had in my whole life. I don't want to really elaborate on this but I really feel hurt like crazy!

I lost someone whom I truly loved from the bottom of my heart just to protect someone else. Now he is just so cold to me and I don't even know what I am feeling. Numb? Sad? I don't know myself. He is truly someone whom i cared for as a special someone. Someone who can support me through it all. A special person in my life. Now, he is treating me as if I am dirt. I cried and cried like crazy and all this happened on my birthday.

One of my friends tried to commit suicide on my birthday as well because of some dissatisfaction he had been keeping inside himself for so long. I feel its so unfair! Everyone is blaming me for things which happened out of my control. Do you think its fair that this is happening to me? Do you all think that I wanted him to cut himself? Its just that nobody even looks in my perspective. All they ever think about is for their friend and that everything their friend does is right but everything I do is wrong! I hate this feeling! I hate it very very much!

Thank you for all the birthday wishes! They really made my day! Seriously! It cheered me up when I am down and a call to Siew Lee just brightens me up. I just cried like crazy when I spoke to her. It seems like ages since I last spoke to her...Also special thanks to all my dear friends who have supported me during this ordeal. They have watched me cry, get depressed, cry even more, release my frustrations by telling them my stories...Seriously, thank you!

The story is just too long to published so I don't even feel I want to talk about it. Just releasing my frustrations online would help a little. These few weeks, I have been busy with so many assignments that I lack of sleep and would probably die of exhaustion. Thank you for all of your support! I really appreciate it! Without all of you, I don't think I can even go on.

Just attached a small gift from Papa-san. Haha! He asked me to call it Little Bryant after him! According to him, the bear bear contains a soul which was actually a guy but was made to dress up as a girl. Made to dance in a tutu. Made to somewhat smile for the whole world to see. I feel that I can connect to her (or is it him now? A cross-dressing bear bear?!). So Little Bryant is sitting in my car all the time so whenever I am driving, I would think of Papa-san too. Haha! :)



See? So cute right? Hehe!